Unsolicited: Parenting Stories and Advice

I knew some day your runnin' would be through And you'd think back on me and you And your love would be strong You'd forget all about the bad and think only of all the laughs that we had And you'd wanna come home When You're Alone - Bruce Springsteen In this moment in time, the "me" in this song is me and the "you" is being a stay at home mom.   I've been in a similar position before and I should have seen these feelings coming.  I'm going back to work full time next week and my time as a stay at home mother is coming to an end (for now).  In the space of a day, I've gone from loving, but disgruntled employee to Head Reminiscer.   This is a common pattern of mine. I instinctively remember only the good and none of the bad.  When I think of high school, I think of seeing my closest friends every day and not of almost failing biology.  When I think of college, I think of studying in my favorite library carr

The worst day.  The day where no one wants to nap, it's raining out, and the toddler just threw their 17th tantrum about juice.  The day when the playground is closed, the coffee line is too long to wait in, and the baby will just not get their act together and learn how to efficiently crawl, voting instead for being carried everywhere.  The day when you couldn't sleep the night before, you ran out of milk, and the husband isn't home yet and it's waaaay past closing time. The worst day. We have all been there.  The day that we thought would never end because it just kept going and going.  On these days, parenting feels like the worst of all possible worlds.  You're connected to this teeming mass of need at least until they are 18 and you keep wondering, "What about me?  Where do I figure into all of this?"  These are the days and feelings that people don't like to talk about because they are so raw. And there is so much guilt.  There is guilt becaus

When I was a student of mathematics, the guess and check method was always my LEAST favorite way of solving any problem.  It was so much work - the guessing AND the checking, the reguessing AND the rechecking.  My paper would wind up looking like a total bloodbath of numbers and ink.  It was always a last resort for me.  I'd try anything else first even if it wasn't situationally appropriate -hmmm, what if I rewrote this math problem in iambic pentameter?!?  I was so relieved to get to college, major in English, and leave guess and check in the past - words rule, numbers drool.  Little did I know that good, 'ole G & C would make a roaring and irrefutable comeback when I became a parent.  See, in the hospital they give you this baby.  Maybe some swaddling blankets. That's it.  There's no mathematical formula.  There's no algebraic equation.  Just a baby whose needs you need to figure out PRONTO.  Like #38 on Math II of the SATs, but with more at stake.

It's no secret that I had TERRIBLE classroom management skills when I became a teacher.  What do you mean the kids aren't going to do exactly what I tell them to do the first time?  Luckily, I had the fortune of working with a teacher with amazing classroom management skills and I began to hone my techniques to the point where I didn't need to worry about management anymore.  Even though I had this experience, I still expected Leo to listen to me the first time I asked him to do something. hahahafail.  Eventually I realized that I could use some of my teaching skills to make this stay-at-home mom thing easier.  Planning - I think I've mentioned this is a previous post, but I really feel so much better about the day when I have a plan going into it.  Even if we wind up deviating from it, having a morning and afternoon outing, and a morning and afternoon indoor activity provides some structure for my day and for the kids.  If I have a plan, I'm much more likely to e

Before I had Leo, I thought that feeding times would consist of us looking lovingly into each other's eyes, reveling in our newfound mother-son bond.  WRONG.  Feeding Leo was quite the stressful experience and I eventually came to believe that to look at Leo while he was eating was to effectively erase our chances of a good nursing session.  I began looking anywhere but Leo and he would look at the world around him while eating.  Since we weren't staring into each other's eyes and riding off into the sunset on a horse called Nursing, I came up with lots of other things to do with this time.  Here's some things to do while feeding: Look at each other.  Even though this didn't pan out for Leo, Seth and I do enjoy the occasional staring contest while he's lunching.  I like to sing little songs and make faces  and talk to him about how he's choking me with my own necklace.  This doesn't usually seem to distract him much to my surprise and it is a nice way

I can't believe it's been so long since...okay, I can believe it.  Time flies with two kids, but that's no excuse for not updating Seth's legions of fans on his development. Since our last post, Seth has gone from being a newborn to being quite the active little dude.  He's really starting to come into his own as a baby and assert his personality with increasing flair. Seth loves to "chat," blow raspberries, laugh, smile, and grab his feet. Looks: Seth has more hair than Leo did at this point, but with a substantial "cry it out" bald spot on the back of his head.  His eyes are still a bright blue, depending on what he's wearing.  Seth has continued to gain both height and weight very well - this past month he jumped all the way from the 3% - 6% in weight!  Woot! Eating: Seth continues to love to nurse, and we have begun our journey into the land of solid foods. We've tried cereal, carrots, avocado, and sweet potato in th

I have to say, it feels pretty great to be one of your kid's go-to people.  I always wanted to be a parent and have my kid come to me instead of someone else when they are sad or hurt or want a banana and, yay!, now my dream has come true and I'm one of a few select people who Leo seeks out.  That being said, everyone should be able to experience the joy that is Leo when he feels really comfortable with you.  So, for those of you who don't have the privilege of spending all your time with this kid, I thought I would write a bit about how to be a rock star in Leo's world so that when you come over for a playdate (and I take a nap), you'll be ready to go.  First, when you come in, it's totally awesome to say hi to Leo, but don't be offended or hurt if he doesn't respond. He's just playing hard to get. So, just toss off a "Hey, Leo" and then... Second, wait and see what he does.  The best way to get a toddler to respond to you is to r

It recently occurred to me as I was working up a sweat while rocking Seth to sleep that the physicality of this ritual is no joke.  I was becoming overheated and uncomfortable in my long sleeved shirt - sure signs that I was burning calories/am out of shape/the heat was on - and I thought to myself, what if someone made this into a workout?  Then I wouldn't have to use nap time for my working out, I could do it pre-nap time and then use nap time for...napping!   Granted, this workout is only going to work out for you (see what I did there?) if you have a baby who needs rocking.  BUT, correct me if I'm wrong, what baby doesn't need rocking, at least in the beginning? You should mix and match the following exercises in whatever order/duration works for your baby, but the following order is what works for Seth (and my cardiovascular/muscular systems).* Exercise 1: Deep squats.  Bend at the knee and do as many as is necessary to stop your baby from screaming like a banshee

I never thought I'd be writing a post about my 2 year old AND my 4 month old, but here we are and we are so very lucky to be here! These sibling photos keep getting better and better! Happy! Hey Mom! Leo has been doing a tremendous amount of growing (emotional, physical, and intellectual) in the last couple of months.  He now regularly says Mommy, Daddy, along with a variety of other words and even some multi-word phrases.  Admittedly, it is unclear whether or not he realizes that "Where'd it go?" is three words and not just one really long word but we'll take it!  We have also been very excited to see that he is now addressing other people by name as well - good practice for his years as a politician.  He follows directions (that he wants to follow) and he really loves group hugs.  His favorite activities of the moment are reading(still!), climbing, walking animals or driving trains across the floor, and running like a maniac down the