This blog post is dedicated to Daniel Tiger, the Fisher Price Electronic Table, anyone who has held Seth or wrangled Leo in the past 4 weeks, and various salted snack foods.
For the first six weeks of Seth's life, everyone kept saying "You look great!" "How are you so well-rested?" "Did you give birth or go to a spa for 6 months?!? I can't tell!!" This was incredibly sweet and also incredibly misinformed. For one thing, having the second baby is delicious raspberry cake compared to the first - especially a preemie who wants to sleep all the time for the first few weeks. Second, I had a ton of support from both Eric and a babysitter who took care of Leo for the first six weeks while I nursed Seth and napped. I was definitely getting the sweet end of that deal. However, I knew this time was limited and that soon I would be on my own from 8 am - 6 pm, 5 days a week, for the foreseeable future with the often discussed, much feared "two under two".
Overall, we have all adjusted pretty well to our daytime grouping of three. For the most part, Leo only seems to notice Seth's existence when we put them both on the activity mat or by requesting that Leo give Seth a hug (HUG YOUR BROTHER NOW. THIS IS NOT A DRILL). He has been his usual self and doesn't seem to hold an intense, life long grudge against us for bringing Seth into his world. Indeed, it seems as though he doesn't even remember there was a time pre-Seth. This isn't to say at all that Leo has been the easiest of toddlers; quite the opposite. He's a loveable, hilarious guy but the hardest parts of my day are dealing with Leo's very typical, very annoying toddler behaviors like pushing, demanding, harassing, etc. While it's harder to deal with these things while holding a newborn, it wouldn't have been super fun the other way either. Indeed, other caregivers at the playground are more likely to cut you some slack when they see that you've got another baby strapped to your chest. Bonus points if you are nursing said baby while your older child runs around like a banshee.
Our schedule looks pretty much the same as it did pre-Seth. Eric heads off to work(#jealous), we hang out at home for a while, then we go out for our morning activity(library, Trader Joe's, the playground if it's warm enough), come home, have lunch, nap, then go out for our afternoon activity, come home and have dinner and ERIC COMES HOME!!! The only difference is that I'm nursing a newborn every 2-3 hours, so I plan our outings around those times. Seth spends a lot of time hanging out in the carrier or in his bouncer at home. As he becomes more active, I'm working on fitting in more and more tummy time and activity time for him, but for the most part I choose to remind myself that, for a 2.5 month old baby, pretty much anything is a laser light show.
Luckily for me, Seth is a really fantastic nurser and we have explored new territories of nursing like "Nursing in the Bjorn," "Nursing while reading to a toddler," "Nursing while pulling said toddler away from cat," and most popularly, "Nursing while said toddler watches whatever he wants on TV." Is Leo watching more TV than I'd like? For sure. Is the TV watching ensuring his safety when I'm tethered via nipple to a baby? Absolutely. In many ways, having two kids forces you to boil things down to the essentials. Are they fed, clothed, clean, and loved ( two of these are optional)? Then we are doing great. The past 4 weeks have been a lot like my first year of teaching - trying to figure out how to meet the needs of very different kids without losing my mind. I'm glad to say that I'm picking it up much faster this time around and that my years of honing my classroom management skills are finally paying off.
For the first six weeks of Seth's life, everyone kept saying "You look great!" "How are you so well-rested?" "Did you give birth or go to a spa for 6 months?!? I can't tell!!" This was incredibly sweet and also incredibly misinformed. For one thing, having the second baby is delicious raspberry cake compared to the first - especially a preemie who wants to sleep all the time for the first few weeks. Second, I had a ton of support from both Eric and a babysitter who took care of Leo for the first six weeks while I nursed Seth and napped. I was definitely getting the sweet end of that deal. However, I knew this time was limited and that soon I would be on my own from 8 am - 6 pm, 5 days a week, for the foreseeable future with the often discussed, much feared "two under two".
Overall, we have all adjusted pretty well to our daytime grouping of three. For the most part, Leo only seems to notice Seth's existence when we put them both on the activity mat or by requesting that Leo give Seth a hug (HUG YOUR BROTHER NOW. THIS IS NOT A DRILL). He has been his usual self and doesn't seem to hold an intense, life long grudge against us for bringing Seth into his world. Indeed, it seems as though he doesn't even remember there was a time pre-Seth. This isn't to say at all that Leo has been the easiest of toddlers; quite the opposite. He's a loveable, hilarious guy but the hardest parts of my day are dealing with Leo's very typical, very annoying toddler behaviors like pushing, demanding, harassing, etc. While it's harder to deal with these things while holding a newborn, it wouldn't have been super fun the other way either. Indeed, other caregivers at the playground are more likely to cut you some slack when they see that you've got another baby strapped to your chest. Bonus points if you are nursing said baby while your older child runs around like a banshee.
Our schedule looks pretty much the same as it did pre-Seth. Eric heads off to work(#jealous), we hang out at home for a while, then we go out for our morning activity(library, Trader Joe's, the playground if it's warm enough), come home, have lunch, nap, then go out for our afternoon activity, come home and have dinner and ERIC COMES HOME!!! The only difference is that I'm nursing a newborn every 2-3 hours, so I plan our outings around those times. Seth spends a lot of time hanging out in the carrier or in his bouncer at home. As he becomes more active, I'm working on fitting in more and more tummy time and activity time for him, but for the most part I choose to remind myself that, for a 2.5 month old baby, pretty much anything is a laser light show.
Luckily for me, Seth is a really fantastic nurser and we have explored new territories of nursing like "Nursing in the Bjorn," "Nursing while reading to a toddler," "Nursing while pulling said toddler away from cat," and most popularly, "Nursing while said toddler watches whatever he wants on TV." Is Leo watching more TV than I'd like? For sure. Is the TV watching ensuring his safety when I'm tethered via nipple to a baby? Absolutely. In many ways, having two kids forces you to boil things down to the essentials. Are they fed, clothed, clean, and loved ( two of these are optional)? Then we are doing great. The past 4 weeks have been a lot like my first year of teaching - trying to figure out how to meet the needs of very different kids without losing my mind. I'm glad to say that I'm picking it up much faster this time around and that my years of honing my classroom management skills are finally paying off.
There is one ultimate deciding factor that determines how my day goes - Leo's nap. When Leo naps for 2+ hours, we are golden. The day is filled with rainbows and unicorns. When the nap is under two or worst of all, under one hour, the afternoon is the MARCH OF DOOM.
After having lived with this new reality for 4 weeks, here's what it boils down to: You do what you gotta do to get by. You love your kids. You love the times when they are asleep and when they are laughing and when they give you the biggest hugs. You love the other times less. Also, coffee. Lots of coffee.
After having lived with this new reality for 4 weeks, here's what it boils down to: You do what you gotta do to get by. You love your kids. You love the times when they are asleep and when they are laughing and when they give you the biggest hugs. You love the other times less. Also, coffee. Lots of coffee.
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