Unsolicited: Parenting Stories and Advice

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Dana's Birth Story: Part 1

Dana is three seven ! months old and it is SO hard to believe how speedily these last 12 28 weeks have gone by. It is such a joy to have her here, and she is the sprinkles on what was already quite the delicious cupcake of a family. Both being from families of three kids, we had planned on having three kids from the beginning. There was some negotiations along the way, especially since having three kids in the suburbs is VERY different from having three kids in the city, but one of us finally convinced the other to GO THE DISTANCE and here we are. This birth story actually starts with Seth's birth story. I had placenta previa with Seth which led to a very scary hemorrhage situation, but luckily we both escaped relatively unscathed except for a lot of anxiety with a side of PTSD on my part and a strong stubborn streak on Seth's part. When I consulted with my OB before getting pregnant this time, I was told that there was like a 3.875% chance that I would have place

Should Discipline Die? - A Book Review

I love a good book on parenting and I especially love books on parenting that have to do with growing children who are emotionally aware, independent, and empathetic. I just finished reading Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will by Shefali Tsabary, which is a thoughtful text that argues that we should move away from disciplining our children using traditional methods and towards a more holistic approach involving supporting our children through connection, natural consequences, and shared reflection. Am I a hippie or what? As a kid, I was disciplined for a variety of minor infractions through the use of time outs and revoked privileges which I think was pretty common then and continues to be common today. There was one particularly memorable incident where I slammed my door (after being told not to) and I didn't have a door to my room for a week. Did not do that again! These methods of discipline worked pretty well for me in as much as t

There Be Monsters Here: How to 'Decorate' When You Have Children...and Cats

I copied the concept of this gallery wall from a website and it still took me roughly 18 months to finish. As the primary groundskeeper and decorator of our home, my standards are pretty straightforward: comfortable spaces that are relatively clean and relatively uncluttered. This is partly driven by budget (low to nonexistent), partly by skill (also low to nonexistent), and partly by fear of being judged (you know who you are and I thank you). However, at this point in our lives, it's really mostly driven by the fact that we have small beings living in our house whose sole purpose is to DESTROY. Of course, I want our kids to have respect for our space and the things inside of it. I also want them to have a sense of ownership, to feel as though they can see opportunities in this space where they spend their time, to not feel as though there are parts of our apartment where they can't be or where they're afraid they'll break something. With that in mind,

Handing Over the Reins: Giving Kids Responsibilities

Me, already dictatoring (in this case, our outfits). Confession: in my former life as a middle school student, I was that kid who, when assigned a group project, would offer (read: insist) on just doing the whole project myself. Of course, everyone else in the group was happy to oblige. I was someone who likes to be in control and preferred to just do things myself rather than watch someone else do it differently (read: obviously incompetently). In general, I think I've gotten better-ish about compromise and teamwork in my career. It has been an uphill battle, however, in regards to parenting. Leo, 3 days old and incapable of getting himself home from the hospital. In our defense, we met our children for the first time as newborns and they were legitimately the most incompetent beings on the planet. They could breathe (well, Seth had a little help at first) and cry independently, sleep (sort of), and that was about it. Feeding? Needed help. Peeing/Pooping? Needed h

Riding the Seesaw: Balancing Your Kids' Interests with Your Own

Hi! I'm Leo. I enjoy chess (really any board game, as long as I'm winning or not losing too badly), Pokemon, reading, bounce houses, water features, tormenting Seth, playing with Seth, waking up at 6am, climbing, and treasure hunts. Hi! I'm Seth. I love to explore new places, sing songs, draw silly pictures, be tickled, annoy Leo, play with Leo, have sleepovers with Leo, be generally very active, get the attention of my parents or anyone else, bake, read, and go scooting. Also, treasure hunts. When we find someone to date or a new friend, we're often looking for people based on common interests. When we have kids, it's different. We don't have a say in the interests our children bring to this world, however, we can expose them to new and different things that we ourselves are interested in. I've been thinking about this balance quite a bit lately - how do we nurture our kids' innate and developmental interests while also introducing the

Bruce is right...as always.

I knew some day your runnin' would be through And you'd think back on me and you And your love would be strong You'd forget all about the bad and think only of all the laughs that we had And you'd wanna come home When You're Alone - Bruce Springsteen In this moment in time, the "me" in this song is me and the "you" is being a stay at home mom. I've been in a similar position before and I should have seen these feelings coming. I'm going back to work full time next week and my time as a stay at home mother is coming to an end (for now). In the space of a day, I've gone from loving, but disgruntled employee to Head Reminiscer. This is a common pattern of mine. I instinctively remember only the good and none of the bad. When I think of high school, I think of seeing my closest friends every day and not of almost failing biology. When I think of college, I think of studying in my favorite library carr