Unsolicited: Parenting Stories and Advice

I love a good book on parenting and I especially love books on parenting that have to do with growing children who are emotionally aware, independent, and empathetic.  I just finished reading Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will by Shefali Tsabary, which is a thoughtful text that argues that we should move away from disciplining our children using traditional methods and towards a more holistic approach involving supporting our children through connection, natural consequences, and shared reflection.    Am I a hippie or what? As a kid, I was disciplined for a variety of minor infractions through the use of time outs and revoked privileges which I think was pretty common then and continues to be common today. There was one particularly memorable incident where I slammed my door (after being told not to) and I didn't have a door to my room for a week.  Did not do that again!  These methods of discipline worked pretty well for me...

I copied the concept of this gallery wall from a website and it still took me roughly 18 months to finish.   As the primary groundskeeper and decorator of our home, my standards are pretty straightforward: comfortable spaces that are relatively clean and relatively uncluttered.  This is partly driven by budget (low to nonexistent), partly by skill (also low to nonexistent), and partly by fear of being judged (you know who you are and I thank you).  However, at this point in our lives, it's really mostly driven by the fact that we have small beings living in our house whose sole purpose is to DESTROY.  Of course, I want our kids to have respect for our space and the things inside of it.  I also want them to have a sense of ownership, to feel as though they can see opportunities in this space where they spend their time, to not feel as though there are parts of our apartment where they can't be or where they're afraid they'll break something.  W...

Me, already dictatoring (in this case, our outfits). Confession: in my former life as a middle school student, I was that kid who, when assigned a group project, would offer (read: insist) on just doing the whole project myself. Of course, everyone else in the group was happy to oblige.  I was someone who likes to be in control and preferred to just do things myself rather than watch someone else do it differently (read: obviously incompetently).  In general, I think I've gotten better-ish about compromise and teamwork in my career.  It has been an uphill battle, however, in regards to parenting. Leo, 3 days old and incapable of getting himself home from the hospital. In our defense, we met our children for the first time as newborns and they were legitimately the most incompetent beings on the planet.  They could breathe (well, Seth had a little help at first) and cry independently, sleep (sort of), and that was about it.  Feeding? Needed help....

Hi! I'm Leo.  I enjoy chess (really any board game, as long as I'm winning or not losing too badly), Pokemon, reading, bounce houses, water features, tormenting Seth, playing with Seth, waking up at 6am, climbing, and treasure hunts. Hi! I'm Seth. I love to explore new places, sing songs, draw silly pictures, be tickled, annoy Leo, play with Leo, have sleepovers with Leo, be generally very active, get the attention of my parents or anyone else, bake, read, and go scooting.  Also, treasure hunts.  When we find someone to date or a new friend, we're often looking for people based on common interests.  When we have kids, it's different.  We don't have a say in the interests our children bring to this world, however, we can expose them to new and different things that we ourselves are interested in. I've been thinking about this balance quite a bit lately - how do we nurture our kids' innate and developmental interests while also introducing the...